it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
