I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
