So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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