true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
A+ Viking dick
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
