He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
