I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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