Plan B is the new Plan A
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
