capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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