Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
