you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
