I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
