Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize