they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Found the puke drawer
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
