your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
