...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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