From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
