I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
