wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
