well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize