ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
