there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
