I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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