Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize