a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
