The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
