drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
