My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
