carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
