my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
