You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
