you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.