If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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