Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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