i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
