bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
