You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
