Non-Jews are for practice
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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