Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
