walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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