Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
high people should be assigned attendants
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
