pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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