recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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