do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the condom got lost in my hair
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
