you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
