wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
