All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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