3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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