i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
