he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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