Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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