you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize