Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
