its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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