There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
