You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think my fart just growled at me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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