Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
