Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
