is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just forgot I was standing up.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
