U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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